[Maza85]

Late starter driving passed this March (aged 40) am quite a nervous leaner. I had a couple of incidents 1 month into passing I accidentally reserved and scraped another vehicle. Wasn't the biggest scrap. Today I have managed to hit the wall going into are drive. Has cracked the bumper. Luckily no damage to the main part of the car and is still drivable. My daughter was in the car both times. I also do struggle a bit with positioning but had been improving on this. My partner has said he doesn't want me driving out car or with my daughter until I have had some further lessons. I do agree but part of me is wondering whether I should just quit and stop all together. I never really wanted to drive but got persuaded to after having my child. Now I just a bit worried on whether I should even be driving at all

[Lily]

Hi @Maza85, welcome to the RAC Community and thanks for reaching out. 💙

First of all, well done on passing your test! That’s such a big achievement, especially when learning to drive later in life. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. My husband had to learn to drive a stick a couple of years ago and oh boy… I lost count of how many times the car stalled when the lights went green! 😂 He’d be sweating, I’d sit frozen so I wouldn’t make him more nervous, but now he drives brilliantly. It just takes time and patience.

It sounds like you’ve had a couple of tough moments, but please don’t be too hard on yourself. Every new driver makes mistakes: it’s all part of learning and building confidence.

How are you feeling about taking a few extra lessons? Do you think they might make you feel a bit more comfortable and confident? Or maybe practising solo for a bit (without passengers) might help ease the pressure? Short rides instead of long ones?

There’s definitely a learning curve, and I’m sure plenty of confident drivers today weren’t nearly as smooth when they started out.

[Maza85]

@Lily hi thanks for the reply and kind comments. No I'm not against doing refresher lessons. I had post-natal depression when I started to learn to drive + so issues in getting tests etc.. it took a lot of time and money. Obviously getting better at driving will be a lot cheaper than having to repair damage to a car constantly but just threw me a bit yesterday as I found the experience a bit daunting at times before and just panicked. I do want to get back out there asap but my partner isn't keen on me using r car ATM. Have started enquiring for some refresher lessons. Hopefully between that and going out on my own early morning/evening may help as I can practice while the roads are quiet. I did this when I first passed my test but had othervl things going on (moved house recently but this was a long process) also my partner has been quite ill and in hospital so didn't do this as much as I should of.

Hoping now I've calmed down a bit I can get my head down and focus on improving

[Drivingforfun]

I agree that it comes with practise

How do you find your driving on the roads, at normal speeds? Are you comfortable with that? Both of the scrapes you mention are while manoeuvring the car at low speeds, which use a different set of skills to cruising on the road.

While preserving the car is valid worry I think the idea that your daughter shouldn't be in the car with you driving isn't an overly helpful suggestion unless you'd had a crash while driving along the road at 30+mph. So I wouldn't let that knock your confidence or think of yourself as unsafe as it's not.

The other thing is anxiety tends to cause more problems with low-speed driving, as you need to take your time, yet feel pressured to act quickly and that's when you end up bumping into stuff.

It sounds like maybe you just need some practise doing low speed manoeuvres in a car park rather than general lessons?

[Lily]

@Maza85 no problem at all, you came to the right place for support.

By the way, if you want to go out there and drive more, follow your gut. Going out in the early morning/late evening sounds like an excellent plan!

You've dealt with a lot recently and I have to say I admire your determination. As a mom to a young baby, I know how difficult it is to do anything, let alone learn a new skill. You got this! 💪

I agree with @Drivingforfun, it seems you need to practise low speed manoeuvres. Do you have a space near your house where you could potentially practise?

[olduser]

With my children, I sometimes used a supermarket trolley to drive around (if they hit it it would roll away), so if practicing turning in to a parking space put a trolley on the right of the bay on the left next bay but wheels on the line. OK approach from the left and turn in - do not hit the trolley. This could be extended to things like turning right into a road, imagine the trolley is on the left of centre - go round it as you turn in, the imagined trolley prevents you crossing the roads centre line.

Back in the empty car park, place a trolley with lots of space around it, reverse up to it, whilst looking through the rear window, get out and check if unsure how close you are at first.

On quiet roads, change gear up and down until you stop thinking about it, and are able to just do it.

Above all, stop worrying about not being slick or fast, take your time especially when manoeuvring, you will get quicker with practice.

Good Luck.

[Maza85]

@Drivingforfun on the whole ok I have been building up going out a different times and haven't had any major issues Not as confident on dual carriageways but I was always looking to do pass plus after we had got the move out of the way.

That does sound like a good idea and will look to do this

[Maza85]

@Lily thank you not where I have just moved to but not far from where I use to live. It isn't to far so I could still go back to that area.

Now I've got over the initial shock from it I am a bit more calming in approaching this but all this advice has really helped

[Maza85]

@olduser I had never though of doing this but will give it a try sounds like it could be really helpful. Appreciate the advice

[Lily]

@Maza85 glad to hear it! Please keep us posted about your progress. We are rooting for you!

[Mahoki56]

Go practice in an empty area of carpark with your partner to observe and maybe some little traffic cones. Imagine some of the lines on the ground are a wall.

[Lily]

@Mahoki56 this is sound advice, thanks for sharing it!