First time poster here looking for some help with an unpleasant situation.
I have been struggling to procure a driving licence since 2011, over a third of my life. Due to issues with anxiety, burnout, and financial issues this has not been a consistent thing, there were many stops and starts. I struggled to pass the theory test for many years before finally doing so in 2018. Unfortunately the first year for which my theory test was valid was wasted due to having a very bad driving instructor with whom I went nowhere.
In the first months of 2020 things seemed to be coming together, I had a couple of tests which I failed for reasons that were very definitely my fault; I hoped the third time would be the charm - and indeed everything appeared to be going as planned on my third test.
Unfortunately for me, this test occurred during Storm Dennis and while the rain was not cataclysmic, it did result in a large number of puddles forming on uneven road surfaces.
My test appeared to have gone well, I received a few minors due to nerves, but nothing serious.
However, a mere 60 seconds before returning to the test centre I went through a narrow tunnel under a railway bridge; the tunnel is only single-lane but is well equipped with traffic lights so does not usually cause problems. As I exited the tunnel, there was an extremely large, deep, murky puddle. Knowing these can be hazardous, for instance they could conceal obstacles such as uncovered manholes, I gently steered around it; my speed was below 30 so it was easy to do so.
My examiner tapped his hand on the steering wheel; he did not take control of the car, he just touched the wheel, and used that as grounds to mark a serious fault, and thus a failure.
Upon parking at the test centre he refused to explain his actions or tell me what I should have done instead; he just chanted "you were erratic" ceaselessly, it was clear I was not going to get any response out of him so I allowed my instructor to take me home - my nerves were such that I just wanted to get home and did not feel in a fit state to drive.
I promptly booked another test, however this was cancelled due to lockdown. My theory test ran out 24 hours before tests were allowed to be booked again.
I had a medical emergency necessitating a week in hospital in December 2020, meaning I was not able to attempt to begin rebuilding for some time.
In 2022 I finally managed to pass the theory test again, but financial issues meant I was not able to book a practical test until mid 2023.
I decided to take the next test at a different test centre, hoping the new one would be freer of defects in the road surface which could jeopardize my chances.
Once again, the test appeared to be going well; in terms of minors I was well within the acceptable parameters; the weather was much better on this occasion also; being very bright and warm.
However things unravelled on approaching a traffic light; the light genuinely appeared to be on red to me; as such I brought the car to a halt at the light. The examiner then demanded I go; acting as though the light was very clearly green. I am not colourblind, and each of the lights was visible; the red appeared to be the brightest, so I was placed into an uncomfortable situation which felt like gaslighting.
I obeyed the examiner however, and proceeded. On return to the test centre he point blank refused to say why he marked me down as "stopping at a green light", he merely said "I can't discuss that with you" and refused to say what he had expected me to do. To this day I do not know whether the traffic light was faulty or not, the lack of any engagement or rationalization at all on the examiner's part weighs heavily on my mind.
I suffered a mild nervous breakdown as a result of this "failure", and at present I do not know what to do; my window of opportunity to pass before my theory test runs out is closing and I am sick and tired of it all.
I have poured 13 years of my life and thousands of pounds into this, and I feel the effort was for naught - I feel as though I have been victimized by the DVSA for reasons I cannot even begin to understand and I am disillusioned and cynical; some days I feel like the entire process is an outright scam for the purposes of making money.
What was I supposed to do in these two situations? They feel like Catch-22s.
I'm genuinely at my wit's end and hope I can find some words of advice here.