[Learnerat38]

Something even worse than failing your driving test is being told you're still not ready to take it! I've had like almost 100 hours now and three mock tests where I've made one serious error and a few minors in each so that's not awful but my instructor still feels I'm not quite there yet 😑😒😔.

The mock tests I took aren't the worst and I've seen many people keep failing them days before their year and yet still go for their test. So I think I should but my instructor still feels like I'm not like the average learner, where usually you'll be able to pinpoint where the weaknesses are. For me the main issue is focus and my mistakes are slightly more random. He did say he can't really teach me anything new at this point because he feels I know what to do: I have all the skills to drive and have all the potential, very good car control etc but can't maintain the level for long enough due to lack of concentration. Like I'll drive really well for 30 mins and then make a mistake, dwell on it, lose focus then make another error and so on. Then my negative thoughts remind me how useless I am for taking this long. I guess what worries me is that if it's the case that I can't be taught anything new, then I may never be able to do this.

I'm almost 40 so age doesn't help but after this many hours I should be there. It is really demoralising. I've had three instructors with some bad experiences with the previous two, some big gaps in between like a month with no driving.

I feel very inadequate and worthless as a human being. I've never been that confident in myself so this isn't helping.
I feel like there has to be something really wrong with me to fail like this. I'm already a failure in life, unfulfilling admin job, haven't had a relationship in many years. I wish I was never born. Hate what I've become.

Anyway regardless, Monday I'll have a final mock test and then decide if I need to delay the test which will be difficult to accept after so many hours and lessons and money.

[Rolebama]

I don't think you are alone in this. I have read similar posts on other motoring forums. The general advice was to talk to your GP about getting a relaxant purely for the Test. Most of those who came back after said it had helped them. I have no personal anecdotal evidence other than what I have read. FWIW.

[Drivingforfun]

I learnt to drive in my mid 20s. I am also awful under any sort of pressure - walked out of exams that I was capable of passing due to anxiety etc.

I decided to go for the test with the attitude that I’d done OK so far without a license - had a lifestyle / job that didn’t require a car, etc. While a pass would open up new opportunities, a fail wouldn’t be of much consequence.

Obviously it depends on why you are wanting to drive now, but you have made it to 40 without a license so I’d say you could perhaps adopt the same attitude.

Good luck!

[Anawilliam850]

@Learnerat38 I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so demoralized and inadequate. Failing a driving test or being told you're not ready can be really discouraging, especially if you've put in a lot of time, effort, and money into learning. However, it's important to remember that everyone learns at their own pace and that it's okay to take longer to master certain skills.
It sounds like your instructor believes that you have the necessary skills to drive, but that your main challenge is maintaining your focus and concentration. This is something that can be worked on, and it's not a reflection of your worth as a person. It's important to recognize that negative self-talk and feelings of worthlessness can be harmful and may not accurately reflect reality.
It's okay to take more time and practice before taking your test if that's what your instructor recommends. Remember that driving is a complex skill, and it's important to prioritize safety above all else. It's better to take more time to master the necessary skills than to rush into a situation that could be dangerous for you and others on the road.
Please know that your worth as a person is not defined by your ability to pass a driving test or any other external measure of success. It's okay to struggle and to take longer to achieve your goals. What's important is that you continue to work towards them and not give up on yourself. If you're struggling with negative thoughts and feelings, it might be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor who can offer support and guidance.

[Marc]

It's okay to take more time and practice before taking your test if that's what your instructor recommends. Remember that driving is a complex skill, and it's important to prioritize safety above all else. It's better to take more time to master the necessary skills than to rush into a situation that could be dangerous for you and others on the road.
Please know that your worth as a person is not defined by your ability to pass a driving test or any other external measure of success. It's okay to struggle and to take longer to achieve your goals.

Well said @Anawilliam850 😃
I have a friend who took 6 or 7 attempts before he passed. And he's a great driver, v confident and careful and patient. Just not so great when under pressure!

[Learnerat38]

Originally Posted by Anawilliam850

@Learnerat38 I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so demoralized and inadequate. Failing a driving test or being told you're not ready can be really discouraging, especially if you've put in a lot of time, effort, and money into learning. However, it's important to remember that everyone learns at their own pace and that it's okay to take longer to master certain skills.
It sounds like your instructor believes that you have the necessary skills to drive, but that your main challenge is maintaining your focus and concentration. This is something that can be worked on, and it's not a reflection of your worth as a person. It's important to recognize that negative self-talk and feelings of worthlessness can be harmful and may not accurately reflect reality.
It's okay to take more time and practice before taking your test if that's what your instructor recommends. Remember that driving is a complex skill, and it's important to prioritize safety above all else. It's better to take more time to master the necessary skills than to rush into a situation that could be dangerous for you and others on the road.
Please know that your worth as a person is not defined by your ability to pass a driving test or any other external measure of success. It's okay to struggle and to take longer to achieve your goals. What's important is that you continue to work towards them and not give up on yourself. If you're struggling with negative thoughts and feelings, it might be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor who can offer support and guidance.

Hi Ana and everyone else who responded,

Thanks for the kind words. Well I have an update on this. So after I wrote that rather depressing post, I did have my final mock test with my instructor and he decided to put me forward for the test as I drove well enough. Had one more lesson after this and then on 14 Feb, I had my test and pleased to say I passed with three minors!

So perhaps I was too hard on myself, I guess I just stepped up and managed to relax on the day itself. I don't actually remember being that nervous, probably because I thought that so many great drivers fail at least once and I've heard some of the worst drivers pass first time! Anyway, I can't describe what a sense of relief I felt. The thought of having to book another test would be awful, knowing that the wait for one is still so long.

And just last week I've put a deposit down on my first car - 2014 Mazda 3, really nice car and am looking forward to driving it.

Here's the thing though - I'm now getting more anxious about driving again! I think this is probably inevitable for most learners when they first pass and even though it's only been a month since I passed, I'm having all sorts of scary thoughts like "am I going to stall it on a hill, am I going to run over a child etc etc" I suppose it will be a surreal experience driving on my own more than anything.

Also perhaps I should have bought a really cheap car but I figured at my age with insurance not being so expensive, I'd go for a half decent car.

Another issue I have is the fact that where I passed was infact a relatively easy test centre. No spiral roundabouts, no bus lanes, no roads over 50 mph. So in terms of my overall driving experience even though it was long, it's still quite minimal as I have not driven in different scenarios and roads, let alone the motorway. So this does worry me but I hope with experience this becomes more natural just like the basic stuff when I first started to learn.

Again thanks again for your support.

[Drivingforfun]

Well done on passing. If you have no experienced drivers able to come out with you, I’d perhaps book a couple more lessons letting the instructor know exactly what your aims are. Most driving instructors will come out with you in your own car even after you’ve passed the test. (Some even offer a discount if you use your own car rather than theirs.)

[Learnerat38]

I decided to do pass plus this week and had three hours so far. The first hour went fine and he said I was a good, safe driver but yesterday's two hours was not so great I felt. This lesson was covering aspects I've never done before - country lanes at night, as well, 60 mph roads and changing through all the gears. Where I passed is a very relaxed area in South London - wide roads, simple roundabouts, no roads even above 40mph so I barely even got out of third gear! And these roads are basically the only ones I went on!

Therefore, yesterday was very new to me and have to I struggled a fair amount with the gear shifting, slowing down at the roundabouts after going 60mph and just my general planning.

So I'm feeling a little low again about my driving even though I know I can legally drive, I should be better. I know what I did yesterday was the infact the most challenging aspect of driving apparently - country lanes and night driving. I guess it is just experience which takes time but I felt I need to improve still. I'm confident and fine to drive in urban areas and towns as that's what I've done alot now but the faster rural areas and roads need practice.

[Drivingforfun]

I am sort of the opposite of you. I have been driving a few years now and mostly drive on country lanes and in small towns and villages. I feel I am reasonably good at it. However, when I do go into a large town or city I often feel uneasy, not being used to it, among people who know where they are going and which lane to be in etc.

There used to be a member on this forum from Scotland, and spent most of their time driving on single tracks so used to be pretty good at it. They mentioned several times their frustration when the tourists came up who didn’t know how to properly drive on the roads!

What I am trying to say is I think it is quite normal for people to become good at driving on the roads they most use. The fact you are trying out different environments and pushing your comfort zone is good. :)

[Santa]

@Learnerat38

When you get around to driving solo, you will feel pretty nervous. I suggest that you stay on familiar roads at first and just drive around with no pressure.