The mock tests I took aren't the worst and I've seen many people keep failing them days before their year and yet still go for their test. So I think I should but my instructor still feels like I'm not like the average learner, where usually you'll be able to pinpoint where the weaknesses are. For me the main issue is focus and my mistakes are slightly more random. He did say he can't really teach me anything new at this point because he feels I know what to do: I have all the skills to drive and have all the potential, very good car control etc but can't maintain the level for long enough due to lack of concentration. Like I'll drive really well for 30 mins and then make a mistake, dwell on it, lose focus then make another error and so on. Then my negative thoughts remind me how useless I am for taking this long. I guess what worries me is that if it's the case that I can't be taught anything new, then I may never be able to do this.
I'm almost 40 so age doesn't help but after this many hours I should be there. It is really demoralising. I've had three instructors with some bad experiences with the previous two, some big gaps in between like a month with no driving.
I feel very inadequate and worthless as a human being. I've never been that confident in myself so this isn't helping.
I feel like there has to be something really wrong with me to fail like this. I'm already a failure in life, unfulfilling admin job, haven't had a relationship in many years. I wish I was never born. Hate what I've become.
Anyway regardless, Monday I'll have a final mock test and then decide if I need to delay the test which will be difficult to accept after so many hours and lessons and money.